April Fools Day Friendly Fire!

I like pranking. I don't like being pranked but I like pulling them. This year I will be pulling some friendly pranks of my family. Why? I'm glad you asked....


It all started on a snowy day in December. I am not a fan of snow. I don't think it's cute. I don't make snowmen and I just made my first "good" snowball at the age of 29. Seriously, don't like the stuff. Well, my dear loving family and neighbors lured me outside one day by using my sweet little girl. I remember it like it was yesterday. She came in the house and said "Mommy, can you come play with me" then used the puppy eyes I taught her to use on Daddy. Traitor! As soon as I come outside I was snowed from 3 different angles. OOOOOH but that wasn't the worst part...They put a snowball down my back on the inside of my coat! What the what?!


Fast forward back to present day. I have let bygones be bygone so I will not retaliate with anything bad but I will have a little fun. ;  )

This year no foods are what they seem. The moral of the story, don't bite the hand that feeds ya!

April Fools Day Menu

Breakfast: 

Eggs over easy

Toast

Fresh fruit

Lunch:

Grilled Cheese

Peas and Carrots

Beverage:

Gatorade

There are other nutritious things that they will eat in the day but these are the things I have cooked up just for them.

Breakfast:

What they see: eggs over easy, toast and some fresh fruit. 

What they get: vanilla yogurt, apricot half, toast and gummy berries (just a few)

What you will need for this prank:
Vanilla Yogurt
Apricot or peach halves
Harboro Gummy Berries
Toast
Spoon


To make the eggs spread a dollop of Vanilla Yogurt on a plate to represent an egg yoke. It is very important not to use any fruit yogurt so that there are no fruit chunks on the plate. Next you will place one apricot half on top. Don't make it perfect. Eggs aren't imperfect. Side this with real toast and just a few berries. We don't want to overload 'em on sugar, do we? The best part about this is, other than the fake berries, this can be a pretty good breakfast.

These are not my pictures. I will not make this until the morning but this is what it will look like

This will be the hardest meal to pull off because my husband doesn't eat eggs. I may have to let him in on the joke before hand. 

Lunch:

What they see: Grilled Cheese, Peas and Carrots

What they get: Pound cake, orange icing, starbursts and skittles

What you will need for this prank:

Massive bags of Skittles and Starbursts

a knife and cutting board/ culinary shears

sandwich bags

For the peas, simply sort the green candy out of the large bag of skittles

Next, open each starburst and cut it into quarters.

When you are finished, combine the starbursts with the skittles and voila! Peas and Carrots. 

Preparing the grilled cheese was a bit more involved. I took a shortcut buy purchasing a pound cake. I honestly suggest having your cake in a loaf shape if you attempt this. I was working with a short deadline so I took what I could get. 

For this prank you will need:

1 pound cake

grill/griddle/pan

whipped icing (spreads and mixes easily)

food coloring (see package directions for orange)

something to stir the color into the frosting

While your grill/pan heats up you can mix the color into your frosting. Make sure to follow the directions on the package. I used 5 drops of yellow and one drop of red.

as a last step, I compared the color to the cheese we had in the fridge. The color looks good.

Next slice your cake. try to make it as straight and consistent as possible and lay directly on your hot surface. Other sites have suggested adding butter but I found that the cake had enough oil in it already so I did not add any more.

If you use a grill like I did, you will get these realistic looking lines. Cool effect! 

 Next spread your colored icing to the non grilled side. Make sure ice completely to the ends to give the "cheese spilling over the side" effect. TIP: don't get too excited and ice before the slices cool down. I got a slippy slidey mess because I was overzealous!

Lastly, every grilled cheese needs to be cut into triangles- so do it. 

Beverage service:

What they see: Gatorade

What they get: Jello

This last one is just as simple as the others. If you can make Jello you can do this. Follow the directions on your package BUT pour your liquid into sports bottles.

For this prank you will need:

1 large bowl

Boiling water

cold water

sports bottles

one large container for the sports drink if you do not want to waste it.

Jello mix

1 funnel

Open your new bottles of sports drink and empty into your large container if you want to keep it.

Mix your Jello by the package directions. I chose orange to match the label...but then I mixed too much hot water and had to use my reserve strawberry mix.

Here are the directions in case you threw out your Jello package in haste.

After mixing your Jello use your funnel to get the liquid into the bottle. 

Refrigerate overnight. I will be taking this to my family Jiu Jitsu class tomorrow night as well as bottles of water for everyone. Okay so my revenge isn't so mean but it sure will be entertaining for me. I will post reactions tomorrow!

Southern Slang Translated

Phaedra Parks- a Southern Belle- lookin sharp honey!

This post has nothing to do with Ms. Phaedra other than being about Southern people. I just think she looks fabulous and she is my favorite celebrity southern belle so I thought I would use the picture. Go on Ms. Phaedra with your bad self!

I may have said this before-maybe not- but I was raised in a military family. As such we never stayed anywhere too long and I don't have a "hometown" persae. I do, however, love and claim Montgomery Alabama as where I am "from" time to time. It was the place we lived the longest growing up (7 years is a long time in military time). I dearly miss my friends, adopted family and the Southern charm of nicesties. Nicesties (plural form of Nicesty-word popularized by singer Michel'le) are comments that seem nice on the surface but are totally nasty underneath. The kind of thing you hear a southern belle say and you immediately thank them but only realize on your way home she was being a total B!+¢#.

If you are unfamiliar with the Southern by personal experience, watch shows like Netflix's "House of Cards". The Southern have a way of delivering the most rude of comments in the prettiest package. I have gathered a few of my favorite "Southern Phrases" for your enjoyment.

1. Bless your heart- Seems sweet right? Wrong. What she is really saying is "You dumb misguided dunce". This seems like a well wish but it really translates to 10% pitty and 90% dumbass.

2. He's too big for his britches- really means he is in over his head or thinks too highly of himself.

3. Off like a herd of turtles- off to a slow start.

4. If brains were leather, s/he wouldn't have enough to saddle a June bug- You're and idiot.

5. I bet you could start an argument in an empty house- you argue too much.

6. She was happy as a dead pig in the sunshine- describes someone who is blissfully ignorant to what will ruin them.

7. Well, ain't that nothin'.- My grandmother used this one. She usually said it mid conversation while someone was bragging about something that she thought was dumb. She usually followed it up with a fake and painful looking smile.

8. Run with the big dogs or stay on the porch- get in, fit in, or get out. Also, probably said to someone who was too big for their britches if they hesitate when it's time to put your money where your mouth is (or back up what you are saying).

9. Why you're as useless as a screen door on a submarine- completely and utterly useless to the task at hand.

10. Her elevator don't go all the way to the top/ She's one fry short of a Happy Meal/ She's got a screw loose- She's nuts.

11. You look like you've been rode hard and hung up wet- You look bad- really bad.

12. That makes about as much sense as tits on a bull- You make no sense

13. She doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of- You're poor

14. Look, I bet she could eat corn through a picket fence- You have buck teeth

15. She was drunk as/drunker than Cooter Brown- This one took some research. Supposedly, Cooter Brown was a man that lived during the Civil War. He lived on or near the Mason-Dixon line and had family on both sides and he didn't want to fight in the Civil war. As a solution he just stayed drunk the entire time so he was deemed "unfit" for battle during the entire war. Whether he was real or not, the phrase stuck.

16. She's so tender faced- My grandfather uses this. Means she's ugly.

17. She’s so ugly she’d make a freight train take a dirt road.- See #16

18. I’ll stomp a mudhole in his @ss and walk it dry.- I'll kick his butt from here to the Mississippi.

19. She wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight.- She can't fight or she is a coward. Also used by Jay-Z in 99 Problems.



Now on the other hand there are some things that are said that may sound bad but really are meant with kindness.

1. Your prettier than a pot of collards- What can I say Southern people like good food. If they compare you to good food, your pretty hot stuff.

2. She's finer than frog hair!- Ever see frog hair...that's because it's so fine.


.....yeah, unfortunately I only have two of the nice phrases. Feel free to add any that I forgot in the comments below!

The Faithful-of it.

I may have just a little too much faith in my abilities. I have decided that my new hobby will be sewing. This is something I've wanted to learn for quite sometime but never set aside the time to achieve. I am very excited.

...at the same time I am saying "what were you thinking Shan!". I went gung-ho on this one! I have no basic knowledge of reading patterns, fabric selection...let alone how to run a sewing machine yet I have purchased $65 worth of fabric, 20 patterns (in Burda Magazine-so it was only $14.00) and a sewing machine on ebay.com.  I don't know who told me I could do this but I am going in neck deep here!

Talley Forth!

Phenomenal Woman (or Man) Activities

looks like baby girl loves herself! Love yourself!

As people, we tend to feel the desire to be loved or admired at the least. Sometimes the place you need to start is with yourself. Here are a few Activities of Affirmation that you can do to boost your self esteem!

1. Choose 5 affirmations to to use as daily mantras for your life and set aside time, daily, to focus on them. These can be things that reflect your current beliefs or things that you would like to represent how you feel.

2. Fake it! Pretend to be confident. No, seriously. Even when false, if you hold yourself in high regard others will tend to do the same. Eventually your behaviors will mirror your "pretend confidence".

3. Work it! We are all really bad at at least one thing- but everyone also has one thing that they are good at. Focus on the things you are good out. Go out of your way to partake in activities that flaunt your abilities. Example: Say, you are an office worker but you love to sing and put on a show. Organize a Karaoke night and milk it!

4. Take a compliment! If someone one compliments your demeanor, your top, your shoes, your hair- accept it! There is nothing wrong with saying "Thank you". It will boost your day. At the same time, one good deed deserves another. Return the favor.

5. Give. In our daily life we tend to take our blessings for granted. You have a car, it doesn't come with a driver and heated back seats but it gets you from A to B. Am I right? There is always someone who can use your extra things or your time. Give to someone. Maya Angelou wrote in her poem "Our Grandmothers":

When you learn, teach.

When you get, give.

 

Heed her advice.

6. Surround yourself with those with your best interests at heart. There is a certain "charge" to your batteries that you get from being with those who love and support you. Make a date with a friend or spend time with family. It works and the feeling can last for a week!

7. Write down a list of strengths. Take time and write down what makes you special. Ignore all of your flaws and have a "me fest"! Toot your own horn!

8.  Have a photo shoot. Take a few pictures focusing on you looking great. Make sure you look good. Brush your hair, put on a good face, put on your favorite outfit and strut for yourself. On your worst day you can remind yourself of the fox that lies within.

9. Pamper yourself. There is something about setting aside time to just focus on yourself. No one else just love yourself. Take a bath, manicure your own nails. This is absolutely necessary in my book. No one can love you until you love yourself.

Many of these suggestions were taken from the book 48 Self Esteem Activities for Women: Powerful Exercises for Overcoming Low Self Esteem by Corinna Bowers available here.

The making of the wand!

I stumbled across another blogger who did this...tried it...and thought I would share. I went out the other day looking for a curling wand. Being the DIY/ El Cheapo that I am- I started wondering, what differentiates a "wand" from a curling iron? The answer- the clip. So I began to wonder why pay $10-$30 more for less of a product. I went home and decided to try this on a curling iron I planned on discarding.

Step 1: With your curling iron off and unplugged- assess and remove the "clip" from your curling iron. In my case, the clip was held on by screws. I simply removed the screws on either side of the base (handle end) of the clip.

 

Step 2: After removing the clip I noticed a spring toward the base (handle end) of the clip. In my case this too was screwed in. Take note that some springs are just just inserted in a "pocket" type set up.

 

Step 3: Be sure that all clip mechanisms, screw, springs and hinges are removed. Lastly I chose to wipe down my new curling wand. I have had this curling iron (pictured) for at least 7 years. As you can see it has taken a lickin'- but since it keeps on tickin' I figured what do I have to loose.

Result: In my case this barrel was WAY too large to create the great curls that I see others accomplish, but-hey, I tried!

The Resolution-2013

So much went on in 2012...all in all...it sucked sooooo much. Literally from day one till minutes before midnight. I am determined to have a great year in 2013. How? Glad you asked! I have set the following resolutions:

1. Have one adventure per month
2. Earn more from my blog- be a "real blogger".

...sounds good, huh?

2 simple goals with great possibilities! So far I have done one adventure. January's adventure was to go to the Presidential Inauguration. Sounds boring right? NOT! This was defiantly and adventure. I mean we are talking huge mobs of different personalities here! Not White water rafting, I will admit, but no cake walk either! Unfortunately, my phone died very quickly so I didn't get too many pictures but I got a few.

our tickets!

All smiles...although I left my house at 3am to get to my mom's house to leave by 6:30am! So excited!

My mother and I on our way to our ticketed section!

The US Capitol on the opposite side of the reflecting pond.

The Adventures of Jada and Mommy: Manhattan, NY

This year I took Jada to the most wonderful place on Earth. No, not Disney World. Manhattan, NY! We spent Three days and two nights in Midtown! 

There were a lot of "firsts" on this trip. Since we live close enough to NYC we decided to take NJ transit to the city. We drove to the Hoboken station and took the train for $15 each (children free on weekends with adult). It was a no brainer.

Once we arrived in the city, we stayed at The Chambers Hotel. Chambers is a fantastic Boutique Hotel that I definitely recommend to anyone staying in the area. The personal service and style is completely unrivaled. This place would specifically appeal to those wanting to stay in the shopping district- at 56th Street and 5th Avenue. Prime location. It would also appeal to those with artistic interests. Every room displays unique one of a kind art organized by the floor. The staff is extremely helpful and kind. If you ask I am sure they would be willing to give you a tour!

room numbers are displayed in the flooring

Looking out of the window...

this was the view!

she was into the Tv...kids!

They had a small robe just for Jada! Great attention to detail!

 Nice letter of welcome and tickets to MoMA!

great quail sandwich at Ma Peche inside of the hotel.

getting ready to hit the town for the night!

The next morning we decided that we wanted to explore the area. We visited Carnegie Hall, Rockefeller Plaza, FAO Schwartz and Nintendo World (we like games!).

MoMA shots

The shopping district (1/2 block from the hotel!)

A short stroll later....

 after walking back, I saw this....A few doors down! This is where I wanted to work for YEARS! Love Baby Phat and Pastry!

As I said before this hotel is AMAZING. I took a few shots of the rooms but the lobby is one place you have to see! The photos just do not do this place justice!

I definitely recommend that you look into this hotel. You will not regret it!

http://www.chambershotel.com/